One common theme in victim blaming for intimate partner abuse is that the victim
One common theme in victim blaming for intimate partner abuse is that the victim deserves the abuse that they receive because they stay with the person who is harming them. It can be easy for someone to ask, “why doesn’t s/he just leave?” when we talk about domestic violence or intimate partner violence. This activity is designed to get you to think critically about the escape process, as if you were in the survivors’ shoes. In this activity, you will simulate some of the financial and psychological challenges associated with escaping an abusive relationship. Create a short-term safety plan to escape the relationship and get to resources within the community. Then, create a long-term plan to achieve independence. In doing so, you MUST calculate the financial costs of leaving the abuser (e.g., finding emergency housing that is pet friendly, buying food and basic essentials, etc.) and the costs associated with independence (e.g., arranging childcare for work, locating permanent housing, securing a job, transportation, etc).
You can put this information in bullet points (see examples below) but it should be thorough and well thought out. This project will push your boundaries and get you thinking.
The Scenario:
For this assignment, you are to assume the role of either a heterosexual woman, a woman in a same-sex relationship, or a man in a same-sex relationship (pick one) with a high school education. The only work experience you have is two years in retail working as a full-time cashier making minimum wage ($7.25 per hour) at the supermarket from 2003 to 2007. You have three children, ages seven, four, and six months. You also have a
25-pound, non-aggressive dog that you do not want to leave behind as your spouse physically abuses the dog.
You have been a stay-at-home partner for the past seven years. You have no money of your own. Your name is not on the bank account or the credit cards. Your spouse gives you an “allowance” every month of $50 to buy things for yourself. Your spouse handles the rest of the money and pays for everything. The car is also in your spouse’s name only, as is the cellular phone, the house, and all bills.
For this assignment, you are to research how much it would cost in this situation to:
Initially be able to leave your abuser
Function on your own monthly, without the assistance of friends or family (as your partner has isolated you from them) and without the help of social service agencies.
You can select names for the children and dog, if you wish. Determine the details of the people involved, the city/state this is occurring in (Chattanooga), and think about the type of violence going on in the home. You must be specific and include details for each of the items in the Costs section below. You also must provide a grand total of how much it would cost to live each month.
Part 1: Costs
Cite the source of where you found this information.
Also, you must estimate the monthly cost and the initial cost to move out of the abusive situation. Be specific for each estimate! This is to be for your local area (Chattanooga). See examples below.
Specifically, you must identify:
Monthly rent for at least a two-bedroom apartment that allows pets. Include the security and pet deposit, if applicable, and what utilities are included in the rent.
Example: $650 a month found on Jan. 8 on Craigslist. $650 security deposit and $500 pet deposit. Sewage and garbage included. Monthly cost: $650. Move in cost: $1150.
Estimate for one month’s utilities in apartment (whatever the rent does not include, such as gas, water, garbage, or electricity).
Example: Gas estimate $83/month for a two-bedroom apartment.
Cost to obtain a cellular phone (startup fee, price of phone, price per month). Include carrier, type of phone, and type of plan you are selecting.
Price of a used car, including an insurance estimate for monthly coverage and monthly gas expenditure ORone month’s bus fare.
Cost of day care for three children.
Example: Debbie’s Day Care – Estimate given: 1
child under 2 = $46 a day, 1 child age 3 and over =
$32, 1 child school age, $16 (after school) = $94 a
day
Assuming that your character works Monday
through Friday, the total cost for day care each
month would be: $94 a day x 5 days a week = $470
a week. $470 x 4 weeks= $1880 a month in day care costs.
Employment that you would be qualified for with your background.
Example: Mafelite: Call Center Representatives:
$10/hour. Requirements: high school diploma. $10
x 40 hours a week= 400 (a week before taxes, $800
every two weeks before taxes). $1600 a month income.
Estimate for groceries each month to feed yourself, the three children, and the dog.
Formula and diapers must be included in the estimate.
Estimate for replacing necessaryitems that you could not take with you when you left your abuser (furniture, lamps, beds, clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc.). List items and prices.
Estimate average health care costs per month.
Estimate the costs for doing laundry at a laundromat, including laundry detergent for one month.
Part 2: Assistance
The first part of your assignment dealt with how much it would cost to leave the abuser and live on your own without assistance from any organizations. Now you must find groups you could turn to for help. For this part of the assignment, please find three organizations in the community that could potentially help the victim leave and/or live each month.
You must provide:
The name of the organization
Its contact information
Brief description of how it can help you. Make sure you meet any qualifications before including the organization as assistance.
Part 3: Reflection
Finally, provide a written response reflecting upon the experience of this assignment and the information you uncovered. You should reflect on the emotional and psychological issues surrounding the escape process and assess whether you have a greater understanding of
“why doesn’t s/he just leave?” Most people aren’t aware of the resources available to survivors or the time, energy, and turmoil it takes to escape. What did you learn?
Things to consider in your response:
The amount of money you need to leave your abuser and live each month and the money that the fictional victim could earn
How finances can affect a person’s decision to stay in an abusive relationship and how that can affect a person emotionally
How help from a social services organization could be beneficial to the victim based on your research
Why someone in this position might not want to seek help from an organization
How a woman (or man in a same-sex relationship) and children might feel in this position
How having a dog could influence your decision
The background story of this person (education, work experience) and how it affects opportunities or ability to leave
How the abuser forced this person to isolate from family and friends and how that might affect decisions
The way that this assignment has influenced (if at all) the way you think about IPV
If you selected the woman or man in a same-sex relationship, you must address how the experience of this process could be different than the heterosexual woman’s
There is no maximum word limit for this assignment. Be sure to use 12-point Times New Roman font, double-spaced.