This week you have a larger task to accomplish. . . in fact we have been leading

by Caaltu · May 29, 2024

This week you have a larger task to accomplish. . . in fact we have been leading up to this all semester. You will taking all you have learned about what works and doesn’t work in relationships and have read about the clearing exercise. Now you will get a chance to try it. I am not asking you to clear “for real” with someone, but to imagine clearing with someone you would love to be clearer with. . .
Clearing Assignment: You will conduct a paper clearing based on the Format discussed in the Downie Book with an important someone in their life.
Following the guidelines set forth in Downie on how to conduct a clearing, you are to write out exactly how you would like a clearing to go with a person that you have “baggage” with. Then discuss what you would hope to get out of the exchange and whether or not you think you can or will ever try to conduct this clearing and why or why not. 3 pages minimum.
Below is a template you may follow for writing up your clearing:
Clearing Exercise Template
There are five sections to this assignment. Below you will find each section with what must be included. If you have additional insights and thoughts you feel are important or that you want to include, please feel free to add them.
Section One: Context
Name (or pseudonym if you want to keep them anonymous) of the person with whom you are clearing.
Explain/Describe the relationship you have with the person.
Explain/Describe the conflict that you have with this person from YOUR perspective.
Explain/Describe the conflict that this person has with you from THEIR perspective. Offer at least two possible explanations for what might be their reasoning for their perspective.
Section Two: Request to Do a Clearing
In this section, you will provide a “scriipt” of you approaching the other person to ask for a clearing.
Example (do not copy my example, use your own words):
Nancy: Hi mom. I would like to ask you something.
Mom: Yes, what is it.
Nancy: Well, I am sure you have noticed that you and I seem to be having a lot of conflicts lately and I would like to try to clear the air with you.
Mom: Okay so talk.
Nancy: Actually, I want to try something I have been learning about in my interpersonal class; it is called a clearing ………
You get the picture. From there you would just continue to explain what a clearing is and show whether or not the other person is willing.
Be specific as to what you would say to request to have this conversation.
Be specific as to what they are likely to say in response. If they are likely to say no, then describe what you would then say or do.
Section Three: Establishing the Ground Rules
For this section, we are assuming the other person agreed to do the clearing.
Here you will provide a scriipt of you explaining what a clearing is and getting agreement with the other person on each and every ground rule provided in Downie.
Include how you think the other person will react to the ground rules written as a scriipt.
Example (do not copy my example, use your own words):
Nancy: Thanks, mom, for agreeing to take the time to do a clearing. Before we get started, we should go over the ground rules and the process of how it works. Are you good with that?
Mom: Sure, but I have to say I am a little nervous.
Nancy: Me, too, but I think we should try. The first thing we do is . . . .
Then continue to go over the process and each of the ground rules.
Section Four: The Clearing
In this section, write the scriipt of the actual clearing you would have with the other person.
After you have completed your side of the clearing and your conversation partner has thanked you, provide the scriipt of what you imagine would be the things that they would clear with you.
Thank them for trusting you to hear them.
Section Five: Debrief
After completing the paper clearing, discuss what you learned from doing this exercise. Talk about what was difficult, what was positive, and what did not work for you.
Close by letting me know if you plan to actually try to clear with this person in real life and explain why or why not.